SuperEgo Speaks

As the Super Ego I should have total control over my mind, don’t you think ? And that I should know well enough whom, or what I am dealing with, controlling for that matter, and teaching morality and all that ! But here you see, I don’t even know if she is flexible and adaptive like water, or rock solid as ice. “Aquarius I am, free as air”, she tells me. Free alright, but trust me, very difficult to handle. Well, that’s my job, to keep a check on her free will. I try my best.

Arundhati has never been a fan of new year resolutions, just as she is not a fan of sticking with a routine. Any routine, whatsoever. Hitting the gym everyday, or practice writing every morning – nothing that entails regularity and discipline thrills her. Some kind of weird commitment phobia you can say, I have always noticed that any kind of routine activity makes her feel obligated and entrapped. She runs away from monotony, rebels against discipline. The thing she fails to understand is that a highly polished pebble can shine brighter than an uncut diamond. A regular practice is essential in whatever one wants to excel in.

Oh of course she enjoys the rush of adrenaline after a 20 minutes treadmill run, when her face is all glowing and radiant after a hearty workout. She definitely enjoys getting ‘like’ in her blog post, or when someone follows her blog. Its only when she needs to stick to something, be regular and see through the end, her whimsical and rebel mind wakes up. She will withdraw immediately from whatever it was that she was enjoying so far, and then no amount of my pleading or begging will yield her.

Good thing, however, that after all these years now gradually she is starting to feel that falling into this known rhythm of procrastination every time has after all become a routine in her life. I guess I might have something to do in making her see things in this light. Last night I succeeded in convincing her that she should change her predictable irregular and erratic ways and do something that she has never done before.

Look how she has got into the right frame of mind since then. Perhaps for the first time in life, she made a new year resolution too. “I will write 365 blog posts in 2015”, she has promised. Lets keep a count, shall we ?

She has even changed her blog’s url. I have always found to be a lame one. How she figured out 12 different ideas for a blog title, and the seven-day long process of zeroing into one is a different story altogether. However, now that she is in her ‘write mind’ I’m sure she would share this herself someday soon. I find Doha to be a lame stupid place, as well. A boring city with morbid streets and buildings and passionless life. What is their to write about Doha!

“I am not at all home sick, but this restricted and oppressed Doha is making me so wretchedly depressed. The only good thing happening with me here is blogging, but that too I don’t feel like…”, she confessed the other day. I think with a little bit coaxing, I might just as well succeed in getting her change the focus of her blog.

However, I think it is somewhat my fault that she doesn’t write here more often. Its my over criticising that blocks her writing mostly. I love her perfectionist nature a lot though. But I must take a leave now, so that she can muse here more often, and become a better writer herself, in the process.

Anyways, long story short, I think this post from me will refresh and kickstart her blogging. And I shall see you all in 3 month’s time to share how things are going. Stay tuned and keep me posted on her shortcomings…

Happy New Year…have a lovely one ! C ya !! 🙂



In response to The Daily Post’s weekly writing challenge: “Ice, Water, Steam.”